Held like water in your shaking hands (fadeintofocus) wrote,
Held like water in your shaking hands
fadeintofocus

NYD

I see fat girls, ankles barely holding straight with the strain and slip of dirty, icy Boston thoroughfares, clambering on their dates for support. I see hot drunk girls, undies flashing and long legs akimbo as they shove fingers down their throats, or cross against greens, or makeout out with the calculating sleaze that have bought their drinks tonight.

I see the homeless, constantly with cups rattling, mumbling, bold stares and awkward exchanges, surly clerks, who honestly don't give a shit if you're polite or not to them; they are that far removed from humanity.

I see the reckless piece of shit who almost rammed his car into mine as he blew through a red. Young, drunk, and behind the wheel, I'm glad i don't have a gun or the new year would have started with a bang.

I see the year I've wasted at this job, this opportunity lost and time pushed forward. This excursion was healthy at one point, or at least a steppingstone; how did I end up underneath it?
I graduate in May, and may I put this kitchen behind me, strap on a tie, and try to do some good in the world.

What I can't see is who I've been, where I've gone, and how I got lost along the way. I feel like I'm living someone else's life-- I'm pretty sure I can do better than this.
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